Posted by Lentus Ambulandus
“If you can read, you can cook.”
So said my dear mother. She was referring to a person’s ability to read a recipe, follow the instructions, and produce a proper meal. It works, in theory.
Here’s another theory:
“If you can perform elementary school math, you can be a successful Escapologist.”
So said Lentus Ambulandus. I’ve unearthed the essence of Escapology, herein represented in its raw mathematical form.
We know that
Income = Work x Compensation
where Work is a time value and Compensation is a rate.
We also know that
Income = Consumption + Savings
Work x Compensation = Consumption + Savings
Work = (Consumption + Savings) / Compensation
We are also aware of The Unfortunate Law of Leisure:
Leisure = Adult Lifespan – Work
where Adult Lifespan is an unknown constant.
But Leisure is really Escapology in its quantifiable form. Thus, we may say:
Escapology = Adult Lifespan – (Consumption + Savings) / Compensation
In order to maximize Escapology, and taking Adult Lifespan as given, we have three options: minimize Consumption, minimize Savings, or maximize Compensation.
However, experience has taught us that there’s an inverse relationship between current Savings and future Work:
Savings(now) x Work(future) = k
where k is a constant.
It would be foolish to minimize Savings, because this would increase Work(future). Our options are therefore reduced to two: minimize Consumption and maximize Compensation. But is increased Compensation really possible? Theoretically, yes, but the preponderance of evidence shows it to be a rare occurrence, and therefore not a reliable course of action.
In the end, we are left with only one clear, dependable path to Escapological maximization:
Stop buying stuff.
If we can do the math, we can Escape.
It works, in theory.