As a piece of performance art, I am making myself available to the public, every Wednesday noontime for the next three months.
You’ll find me sitting near the statue of “King Robert and his Monkey”.
According to the plaque at the foot of the statue, “[Robert] was an arrogant king who was deposed by an angel, stripped of his robes, and forced to assume the role of a jester, with only a monkey for a friend.”
Come and meet me. The words “Hello, Robert” will activate me and, I’ll do one of three things:
1. I’ll casually talk with you until 13:00 (or until you leave);
2. I’ll read a single random passage from Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner by James Hogg (the book from which I take my name);
3. I’ll tell you a short anecdote about my monkey, whose name is Daniel Godsil;
4. I’ll walk you around the main circle of the Kibble Palace, telling a made-up lie about the history of each statue. (This is the star prize. Not many people will receive the honour of this variation).
I’ll also have copies of New Escapologist with me if you’d like to buy one.
This supernatural occurrence is unsanctioned and has nothing to do with Glasgow Botanic Gardens or Glasgow City Council. Tell your friends.