What’s a Young Berserker to do?

Comedian Adrian Edmondson runs away from boarding school in 1973. The escape, recounted in his new memoir, Berserker!, doesn’t go according to plan:

There are only two options really […] face the wrath of my parents or run away. What’s a young berserker to do? I hitchhike straight to the docks. A keen reader of Tintin as a child, my idea is to find a cargo ship, shimmy up the anchor rope under cover of darkness, stow away in the hold until the ship reaches international waters, then present myself to the captain as a willing and capable deckhand. […] Unfortunately, Hull docks are closed. […] Bloody oil crisis, bloody stock market crash, bloody double inflation.

But adventure is still on the cards:

I’ve got nothing with me except some small change and two pairs of underpants, both of which I’m wearing. […] The next day I wake up in a chicken coop near a farmhouse just outside Beverley. [The chickens] look confused. Is that confusion? No, it’s not. It’s… opprobrium. They’re judging me! Chickens!

In the end, he goes to a phone box and calls a schoolfriend who reveals the police are looking for him. Adrian thinks he’s in trouble for a fire he idly set in a scrub brush, but apparently it’s not about that. Is it just about running away? he asks. “It’s about,” says the friend, “you going missing.”

I love that. He’s not really an outlaw or a fugitive. He’s not “wanted,” he’s “missing”!

*

New Escapologist Issue 18 is in the works and can be ordered today for November release.