If I Blew it or Not

This is from Lou Sullivan whose diaries I’ve been reading. His dying father gives him some advice:

there’s only one thing he wants to say and that’s “[Lou,] do what you want to do and don’t give a fuck! Whatever anyone else says, just do what you want to do!” (And I just wanted to say, yeah dad, you should know, you waited too long to do what you wanted).

I’ve said before that the dying almost always give us the same advice: live for yourself, don’t pay too much attention to what others want you to do.

It’s a message from the future. And do we listen? Never.

Lou’s dad was only 63 when he went. It could have been worse. It could happen to any young thing, on your way to jury service or some other nonsense you didn’t really want to do. Live, baby, live.

You know, within reason. I don’t think Lou’s dad meant “be a murderer if that’s what you like doing.” Be decent. So long as your values are realised and you can have great fun while you’re still alive.

Years later, when Lou himself is dying, he writes in his diary:

I have always envisioned myself laying on my deathbed and looking back to reassess what I did on earth. I will be the only who matters, and I don’t want to have to realize that I wasted my life or didn’t accomplish what I wanted to. I will be the only one laying there knowing if I blew it or not.

Maybe Lou Sullivan was a rare one who did listen to that message from the future. Be like Lou! Have fun while you’re here.

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