You are here on Earth to turn vegetables into poo.

Anything else is just a distraction.

Robert Wringham is the editor of New Escapologist. He also writes books and articles. Read more at wringham.co.uk

Martin Greaney says:

May 18, 2026 at 9:43 am

I had a similar idea once that the whole universe evolves better and better ways to wind itself down, use up all its energy, as fast as possible. Humans are the pinnacle, ripping the earth apart and burning it as fast as their tiny fingers will allow.

Now I’ve read your theory I prefer to think of it in your way. It seems more positive! Though bacon is my distraction of choice.
Robert Wringham says:

May 18, 2026 at 10:32 am

Oh, but this is far more positive! The earth needs our poop. So that it can grow more vegetables (and, I suppose, more bacon).

New Theory

Issue 18