“Steal from your exploiters”

Thanks to Reggie for introducing us to the work of King Missile, especially to their hilarious and provocative, “Take stuff from work” song:

Take stuff from work.
It’s the best way to feel better about your job.
Never buy pens or pencils or paper.
Take ’em from work.
Rubber bands, paper clips, memo pads, folders-take ’em from work.
It’s the best way to feel better about your low pay and appalling working conditions.
Take an ashtray-they got plenty.
Take coat hangers.
Take a, take a trash can.
Why buy a file cabinet?
Why buy a phone?
Why buy a personal computer or word processor?
Take ’em from work.
I took a whole desk from the last place I worked.
They never noticed and it looks great in my apartment.
Take an electric pencil sharpener.
Take a case of white-out; you might need it one day.
It’s your duty as an oppressed worker to steal from your exploiters.
It’s gonna be an outstanding day.
Take stuff from work.
And goof off on the company time.
I wrote this at work.
They’re paying me to write about stuff I steal from them.
Life is good.

About

Robert Wringham is a humorist and the editor-in-chief of New Escapologist.

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